"Mike and Dean's Excellent blokart Adventure"

Part 1

We thought we would share with everyone the hilarious epilogue of Mike Moody and Dean Kithchen’s recent cross country blokart bash! Dedicated blokart sailors like no others! 

The following are events from March 19 to April 4, 2006 on a driving trip to and from the Western Blokart Regionals in Long Beach, California (3/24-3/26).The road crew consisted of Mike Moody and Dean Kitchen, both from Michigan making the trip in Moody's mother-in-law's van.

A 1997 Custom Extended Chevy Van (hereafter known as the "Blokart Mobile") to our knowledge, all events are true and unembellished. The names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent/guilty. Should you refuse to believe any of the facts forth coming (did I mention they are completely unaltered and trust worthy) and make comments, the author may disavow any acknowledgement of those comments. This message may self destruct at any moment. Good Luck!

After a Sunday morning loading session that included some remodification and the removal of a couple of seats from the Blokart Mobile, Mike and Dean headed off "West" in the general direction of California for the Western Regional Blokart Championships and Rally. With no definite route planned in advance, this "dynamic duo" had decided to put their fate in the hands of the new Garmin Street Pilot 2720. As it turned out, they were not disappointed as this little electronic gem seemed to do everything but steer. Finding food, gas and lodging on the fly is no problem.  The voice directions were invaluable as well as a complete list of written directions and a large real time moving map display of the route.

The first real test was driving thought St. Louis, Mo. A challenge under the best of conditions. But even with construction, congestion and a tangle of spaghetti like exchanges, and being night time, the boys were through the city and headed for Witchita, Kansas in short order, thanks to their new electronic friend. Because of the female computer voice, by the end of the trip, the boys were referring to the machine as "she" (as well as other "selected descriptive expletives) when it failed to find a location to their liking for the evening meal.

The second travel day of "Mike and Dean's Excellent Blokart Adventure" turned more toward negative events. (At this point those reading this and hoping to hear about some great blokarting, may want to skip ahead - parental supervision recommended. This is about to get ugly.) Things began to go south when Mike misread the instructions on the Street Pilot and they turned off on an exit with no services for several miles. As they decided to get back on the tollway, they got a taste of how desolate the middle of Oklahoma can be. As luck would have it, they did not have the correct change (50 cents) for the toll booth and there was no dollar bill or change making machine in site. Of course this tollway entrance was not attended by any human, but did have two very obvious surveillance cameras pointed at the front and rear of the Blokart Mobile. WHAT TO DO ? ! ? ! After a fruitless attempt to explain their dilemma to the front camera in loud and vociferous tones, and of course getting no response, a polite toot of the car horn from the lady that just pulled up behind, convinced the guys to just BLOW THROUGH the gate and potentially have to throw themselves on the mercy of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol. ( As this is being written, Dean, being a former police officer and therefore heavy with guilt, is in the process of trying to contact the local authority to make amends no matter how much the penalty and interest might be).

After a stop for lunch, thereby getting off the road and hoping to outwit the highway patrol, these fugitives from justice were just getting up from the table when Dean knocked over a full glass of water. (More bad luck and an omen of things to come) About 20 miles down the road the Blokart Mobile, put up a major protest and work stoppage. While going up a slight incline on the highway, the engine raced twice in succession with that always telltale loss of forward motion that only a slipping transmission can create. Moments later, the boys found themselves on the side of the road, truly in the middle of a desolate Oklahoma with a long slick of transmission fluid trailing behind as testament to the malady.

Now the boys are wishing they had looked for some loose change in the seats for that 50 cent toll because if they stayed there long (and it looked like they would) for sure the highway patrol would eventually show up and nail the now infamous "Oklahoma Toll Booth Felons". They though maybe all was not lost however, as they simply fired up the trusty Garmin Street Pilot for a local tow operator. A few clicks on the screen and WA-LA!! The closest one was a mere 75 MILES away back in Oklahoma City. Lets see. . . at 20 cents per mile each way - a service charge of $30 - that would be 75 times 20, times 2 ways, carry the 5 .....$$$$!!! Ugh!

Dean Kitchen

Well in the end, a call to Dean's friendly AAA operator got them a better deal - THEY THOUGHT. Because by now of course the polite Oklahoma Highway Patrol was on the scene and the boys were sure he was ready to dispense Oklahoma style justice on the two "cretans of the toll booth caper" After assuring Oklahoma's finest that help was on the way and keeping "dummy up" about any knowledge of alleged toll booth violations, Mike and Dean sat back to take in the big sky of the Oklahoma plain.

Unfortunately, the "Big Sky" was about to close in with dark ominous storm clouds, extending to the western horizon. Now ... on a trip like this a LITTLE rain is to be expected. Maybe a good thing for the drought ridden plains of the US. Well....... after the hail storm and torrential rains passed, and the Blokart Mobile was loaded (in the rain) on the tow truck, the boys were greeted with the latest NOAA weather report. TORNADO WARNING! ! ! The good news here was the weather service had the danger nailed down with their usual pinpoint accuracy. "Funnel clouds spotted and dangerous conditions with nickel sized hail and damaging winds in excess of 65 mph - on Highway 40 between mile marker 132 and 145." And... As you may have already guessed, our motley duos of intrepid adventurers were looking at mile marker 137! Right in the middle of the forecast danger zone!

After inspecting the Blokart Mobile for more hail damage, then inspecting their undershorts for unwanted soilage, van and crew were dropped off a local transmission repair shop in beautiful downtown Yukon, Oklahoma! (pop. 1237) It was not long before the boys found out more about Yukon then they ever wanted to know. It seems Yukon used to be the hometown of country music star Garth Brooks. But the guys were told he moved up north where it wasn't so crowded.

Mike Moody

Two days later, after getting on a first name basis with the repair shop manager, hotel clerk and numerous coffee shop workers, and considerably lighter in the wallet, the boys were back on the road, and confident their luck had changed. And change it did. Right into a spring ice storm and floods in the Texas panhandle. They managed to make it as far as Amarillo before packing it in. The next morning, evidence of the weather the night before was everywhere along the roads. There were multiple semi truck and trailers still stuck off the road and many ruts in the soft mud on the shoulder as evidence of a busy night for the boys in the "smokey bear" hats.

With a layer of ice still on the roads, morning speeds remained about 40 mph until about 10 AM. With the smell of smoke in the air, they were successful in avoiding any road closures due to the dangers of brush fires and heavy smoke during the recent drought. Hmmmm - Ice and Fire at the same time - a symbol of how the trip had gone so far.